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Jerry Seinfeld

Jerry Seinfeld

Birthday: 29 April 1954, Brooklyn, New York City, New York, USA
Birth Name: Jerome Allen Seinfeld
Height: 180 cm

Jerry Seinfeld was born in Brooklyn, New York, the son of Betty (Hesney) and Kalman Seinfeld. His father was of Hungarian Jewish descent, while Jerry's maternal grandparents, Salha and Selim Hosn ...Show more

Jerry Seinfeld
Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you' Show more Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem. Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash. Hide
It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits th Show more It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper. Hide
The first birthday party you have and the last birthday party you have are actually quite similar. Y Show more The first birthday party you have and the last birthday party you have are actually quite similar. You just kind of sit there. You're the least excited person at the party. You didn't even really realize that there is a party. Both birthday parties' people have to help you blow out the candles. It's also the only two birthday parties where other people have to gather your friends together for you. Hide
Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV. Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV.
Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains - a pretty violent image there. I think if you Show more Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains - a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem. Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash. Hide
[on whether family life produces better comedy than bachelorhood ]The truth is, the family is much m Show more [on whether family life produces better comedy than bachelorhood ]The truth is, the family is much more creatively nourishing because you're playing on a full keyboard. Whereas when you're single, you're just playing the upbeat jazzy tunes. Hide
I don't play colleges, but I hear a lot of people tell me, "Don't go near colleges. They're so PC.". Show more I don't play colleges, but I hear a lot of people tell me, "Don't go near colleges. They're so PC.". I'll give you an example: My daughter's 14. My wife says to her, "Well, you know, in the next couple of years, I think maybe you're going to want to be hanging around the city more on the weekends, so you can see boys.". You know what my daughter says? She says, "That's sexist.". "That's prejudice." They don't know what the fuck they're talking about. Hide
You can be passionate about anything. Pay attention, don't let life go by you. Fall in love with the Show more You can be passionate about anything. Pay attention, don't let life go by you. Fall in love with the back of your cereal box. Hide
I prefer the old theaters because the audience is... trapped. I prefer the old theaters because the audience is... trapped.
A recent survey stated that the average person's greatest fear is having to give a speech in public. Show more A recent survey stated that the average person's greatest fear is having to give a speech in public. Somehow this ranked even higher than death which was third on the list. So, you're telling me that at a funeral, most people would rather be the guy in the coffin than have to stand up and give a eulogy. Hide
I wanted to do an episode of my TV series which we never did where sitcom problems would crop up and Show more I wanted to do an episode of my TV series which we never did where sitcom problems would crop up and then be very quickly resolved. Hide
They show you how to use the seatbelt, in case you haven't been in a car since 1965. 'Oh, you lift u Show more They show you how to use the seatbelt, in case you haven't been in a car since 1965. 'Oh, you lift up on the buckle! Oh! I was trying to break the metal apart. I thought that's how it works.' Hide
When you've been in the business 5-years, as a person, it's like you're 5-years old - like a child. Show more When you've been in the business 5-years, as a person, it's like you're 5-years old - like a child. 10-years and you're 10-years old, 20... Etcetera. That's how I measure maturity in this industry. Hide
If life boils down to one thing, it's movement. To live is to keep moving. If life boils down to one thing, it's movement. To live is to keep moving.
What is a date really, but a job interview that lasts all night? The only difference is that in not Show more What is a date really, but a job interview that lasts all night? The only difference is that in not many job interviews is there a chance you'll wind up naked. Hide
[about pregnancy and babies] It's like getting ready for your own birth. Nothing prepares you . . . Show more [about pregnancy and babies] It's like getting ready for your own birth. Nothing prepares you . . . When those eyes meet your eyes -- I was feeling things I never had feelings like before. I never loved anyone so much at first meeting. I love her so much! But! - Let's make no mistake why these babies come here: to replace us. Their first words are "Mama", "Dada" and "Bye-bye". We'll see who's wearing the diapers when this is all over. Hide
I don't like "great" restaurants. I don't want to hear the specials. If they're so special, put 'em Show more I don't like "great" restaurants. I don't want to hear the specials. If they're so special, put 'em on the menu. I don't want any auditioning foods. When they make the real show, then I will eat them. Hide
Jerry Seinfeld's FILMOGRAPHY
All as Actor (34) as Creator (10)
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